


Blind Dates and Fancy Snakes

by witchy_teacup



Series: Days of Our Wives [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Blind Date, F/F, Female Aziraphale (Good Omens), Female Crowley (Good Omens), First Dates, Flirting, Flirty Aziraphale (Good Omens), Flirty Crowley (Good Omens), Fluff, Gay Bar in Soho, Ineffable Dates, Ineffable Wives (Good Omens), Late Night Crepes, Lounge Singer Crowley, Matchmaker Anathema Device, She/Her Pronouns for Aziraphale (Good Omens), She/Her Pronouns for Crowley (Good Omens), Shy Aziraphale (Good Omens), they're lesbians harold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:15:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23390812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchy_teacup/pseuds/witchy_teacup
Summary: Azira Fell and Antonia Crowley have one thing in common: a meddling friend named Anathema Device. Anathema sets the shy bookshop owner and the glamorous lounge singer up on a blind date.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Days of Our Wives [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1682485
Comments: 8
Kudos: 105





	Blind Dates and Fancy Snakes

**Author's Note:**

> In this Human AU, Aziraphale is Azira Fell, bookshop owner, and Crowley is Antonia Crowley, lounge singer at a gay bar in Soho.

Azira tugged at the neckline of her dress self-consciously as she stepped into the smoke-filled room at the bottom of the stairs. She couldn’t believe she’d let Anathema talk her into this.

She forgot all about the way the dress’s bodice emphasized her not-inconsiderable cleavage as she laid eyes on the redheaded siren crooning on the small stage in the corner. Her subtle curves were draped in a slinky sheath of deep red silk festooned with tiny crystals that caught the light enticingly with her every movement.

Azira was jolted out of her stupor when her entirely impractical clutch vibrated. She jerked her gaze away from the sultry redhead and slipped through the crowd to the bar as she wrestled her phone out of the clutch.

Anathema:

Have you seen her yet?

Azira frowned at her phone as she carefully typed out her response, juggling her clutch and the rose she’d brought for her date.

Azira:

Yes. You certainly weren’t exaggerating.

She looked up to find a slender androgynous bartender pouring a set of shots on a tray. “You here to see someone, cutie?” they asked as they handed the tray off to one of the patrons crowded around the bar, arching an eyebrow at the rose in her hand.

Azira smiled shyly and said, “Against my better judgment, yes. Sort of a blind date.”

They laughed and said, “Can I get you something to help take the edge off your nerves?”

“Ah, I don’t suppose you have any red wine?”

“Coming right up, cutie.”

Glass of wine safely in hand, Azira took a deep breath and slipped through the crowds to perch on a convenient chair closer to the stage. As she sipped her wine, she let the redheaded singer’s voice wash over her, and the crowds seemed to melt away.

Soon the song came to an end and the singer said, “That’s all for this set, folks. I’ll be back in an hour or so. Until then, Hastur and the Dukes will keep things swinging.”

As the singer sauntered off the stage, the crowds parted to allow her to get to the bar where the bartender was already holding out a shot glass to her. She gave them a grateful grin and tossed back the shot, shaking back her long coppery curls. She leaned on the bar and exchanged the shot glass for a wine glass. She smiled and spoke to the bartender. They gestured at Azira where she was watching their exchange trying to work up the courage to approach.

Azira blushed when she saw the redhead’s gaze zero in on her. She was treated to a slow smirk and a raised eyebrow. She started panicking internally as the redhead sauntered through the crowd towards her.

“Azira Fell?” she asked as she swayed to a halt in front of the petite blushing blonde.

“Ah, yes, um, hi, hello,” Azira said after staring up at her silently a beat too long. “Ah, you must be Antonia Crowley.”

“Hmm, yes, I am,” Antonia said with a slow grin as she slid into the other chair at Azira’s table. “I didn’t believe Anathema when she tried to tell me how cute you are.”

Azira’s blush deepened and she stuttered for a moment before she managed to get her voice to cooperate. “She certainly wasn’t exaggerating when she extolled your virtues.” She held out the rose with a slightly trembling hand. “For you.”

Antonia blushed slightly and accepted the rose. “Thank you.” She tapped the plastic vial surrounding the cut edge of the flower’s stem. “Clever thing this.”

“Ah the florist said it would help keep the rose fresh,” she said with a shy smile. “I thought it would be prudent, seeing that our meeting was to take place before your, um, job was over.”

“Brains and beauty,” she murmured, giving her a slow, appreciative look up and down. She smirked as Azira’s blush deepened again. “Now, we don’t have very long before I have to get back up there, so why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself? Ana tells me you work in a bookshop?”

They chatted, sipped their wine, and before they realized it, Antonia sighed and said, “They’re playing my song, Angel.”

“Oh my,” Azira sighed, “our time is up already?”

“Don’t pout, Angel,” Antonia said, covering Azira’s hand with hers, “if you can stay until the end of this set, I’ll be off and the rest of the night can be ours.”

Azira hesitated while Antonia finished off her wine. “I’ll stay,” she said finally. “I know a little late night cafe that makes amazing crepes.”

“It’s a date,” Antonia said with a warm smile.

Azira watched Antonia saunter back to the stage. As she stepped up to the microphone, she slid a pair of dark glasses over her eyes and said, “Hello poppets, did you miss me?” She chuckled at the catcalls and whistles the crowd were giving her. “I’d like to dedicate this next song to a certain blonde angel. No offense to Queen and the great Freddie, but I call this next one ‘Good Old-Fashioned Lover Girl’.”

==

“Ready to go, Angel?” Antonia asked, shrugging into a black trench coat as she swayed to a stop at her table once again.

Azira smiled and nodded, gathering her things as she stood. “You really have an amazing talent, Antonia.”

Antonia blushed, stuttered a “Ngk”, and offered her arm as they reached the exit. Azira smiled and tucked her hand into the crook of her elbow.

They climbed the stairs to street level and paused under a street light while Antonia hailed a taxi. She opened the door for Azira and climbed in after her.

Azira gave the cabby the bakery’s address then turned her gaze back to Antonia. “I’ve never really been a fan of modern music, but I think you just might have changed my mind about it.”

“Really?” Antonia said, arching an eyebrow. “Well, obviously you just haven’t been exposed to the right music. If you liked what I did tonight, I’ll make you a playlist to expand your musical horizons.”

“I’d like that,” Azira said with a shy smile.

The taxi pulled to the curb in front of a small store front and Azira paid the cabby as Antonia climbed out. As Azira climbed out of the taxi, Antonia said, “I can’t believe I’ve never heard of this place. I live like four blocks away from here.”

“My bookshop is about two blocks from here,” Azira said, smoothing her dress with one hand. “Shall we?”

“Lead on, Angel, but this is my treat. It’s the least I can do, since you were nice enough to wait for me to get off of work.” She gave Azira a knowing smirk. “You don’t seem like the type to stay out late normally, so I’m particularly touched that you did for me.”

Azira blushed and said, “Well, some people are worth waiting for.”

Antonia held the door for her and ducked to try to hide her blush.

They ordered and managed to find a small table in the surprisingly busy bakery. Azira sipped her tea and asked, “So, favorite childhood memory?”

Antonia arched an eyebrow and hummed a moment as she thought. “First trip to the zoo,” she decided finally. “I think I was about five years old, and I was absolutely mesmerized by the reptile house, the snakes in particular. All those shiny scales and brightly colored eyes. My father bought me a plush toy snake on the way out that day. I carried Crawly with me everywhere.” She smiled and pulled up her Instagram on her phone. “I still have him, in fact,” she turned the screen so Azira could see a selfie of her in soft-looking pajamas with her hair in a messy bun with a well-loved toy snake draped around her shoulders. She was angling his head so that they were both posing for the camera. “He’s a bit ragged around the seams, but he’s been my best friend for more than two decades, and I don’t care how many times I have to patch him up, I’ll never let him go.”

“He’s sweet,” Azira cooed, dragging her gaze away from the sun-kissed visage of Antonia. “I had a teddy bear who wore a deerstalker cap and a little tartan trench coat. I called him Shirley. My aunt who raised me took me to the Sherlock Holmes Museum when I was six. I was obsessed with Sherlock.” Their number was called, so she went to pick up their food. As she set their tray down and slid back into her chair, she said, “I lost Shirley on a holiday in Greece when I was twelve. I was devastated. My aunt bought me a first edition of ‘The Portrait of Dorian Gray’ to console me.”

“From Doyle to Wilde? That’s quite a jump for a twelve-year-old,” Antonia said between bites of a strawberry chocolate crepe.

Azira chuckled. “I was inconsolable until I started reading it.”

“So you’ve been a bibliophile all your life?”

“I guess it’s to be expected when you grow up in a bookshop,” Azira said with a smile. “My parents died when I was very young. All of my earliest memories are full of the smell of old books.”

Antonia took one last bite of her crepe and pushed the rest of it toward Azira. “You want the rest of this, Angel? I can’t finish it.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I should,” Azira said, looking at the confection with hungry eyes.

“Go ahead, Angel, life’s too short to worry about extra calories.” Antonia cut a flirty grin at her over her coffee mug and added, “Besides, your figure is absolutely perfect as you are.”

Azira blushed beet red and pulled the plate to her side of the table. She took a bite of the other crepe and closed her eyes in bliss as she enjoyed the taste of the dark chocolate and sweet yet tart strawberries.

Antonia rested her chin in her hand as she leaned on the table and watched enraptured as Azira savored the rest of her crepes. She chuckled as Azira finished the last bite.

“What?”

“Hmm? Oh, I was just enjoying your expressions, Angel.” She smirked and shook her head.

“What?” Azira asked when she trailed off.

“Nothing, Angel,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee, “I don’t want to scare you off.”

Azira leaned closer and put her hand on Antonia’s knee under the table. “I may prefer to take my time with the things I enjoy, but please don’t mistake that for reticence,” she said lowly, gently squeezing her knee.

Antonia’s eyes widened and her eyebrows rose in surprise. Her hand was warm on her knee through the thin material of her dress. She schooled her expression into a flirtatious smirk and murmured conspiratorially, “I was just wondering if I could get you to make the same rapturous expressions in bed.”

Azira blushed and rubbed her thumb in a small circle on her knee. “You’ll have to buy me dinner at least once before you find that out,” she said with a small smirk of her own.

“Is that a promise, Angel?”

“Why don’t you ask me out to dinner and find out?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think! Should I write more of this AU?
> 
> The titles of both this fic and this series were supplied by my wife. I had a sudden urge to write Ineffable Wives fic, and so I wrote this, completely unprompted (studiously ignoring the list of neglected prompts in my prompt notebook). I have only the vaguest notion of where this is going, but I'm having fun writing it so far XD


End file.
